Dr. Martens NWOT distressed/crackle leather combat boots women's size 8

I'm not going to lie. I bought these hoping to recapture my youth but instead of making me look like my 17 year-old self at a Jesus and Mary Chain concert, I look like what I actually am - 53 and slightly pudgy, with greying hair and bunions that make any kind of non-orthopedic footwear uncomfortable. These boots are deliberately distressed leather and have never been worn with the exception of 5 embarrassing minutes wherein I walked around my bedroom, looked at myself in the mirror and then wept over my lost youth.